Earlier this week, we reported that Calvin Harris was caught cheating on Taylor Swift, and rather than penning a tearful ballad about like she would've in her crimped-hair "country" days, Swifty simply confronted her new boo and told him she's having none of it.
It may seem like Calvin got off easy, but sources close to Caylor say that in addition to receiving an ultimatum, the Scottish DJ was sentenced to 1,000 hours of Orange is the New Black reruns:
"They spend a lot of nights watching Netflix and catching up on shows they never get to see," a source tells Us Weekly. "He had no idea that she would change him so much."
He didn't know she would change him? This dude must not keep up on his celebrity gossip!
Anyone who's seen the "Bad Blood" video knows that Taylor's chick clique occupies the number one spot in her heart these days.
She's not sacrificing quality time with Karlie Kloss and company for any dude who's not willing to binge the whole first season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt in one weekend, ya heard?
"Normally when Calvin parties, there are girls everywhere, but he’s completely toned down and is just about Taylor," the insider claims. "He's changed because of her — he's much nicer, a lot more calm. He's happy to stay home with her and not be on the scene."
Yes, Calvin's player days are behind him and he can now look forward to weekends of shopping at Whole Foods in matching t-shirts and dangling some yarn in front of Hollywood's most pampered felines. (Give us credit for skipping the alliterative entendre there.)
But if you're inclined to pity the guy, just take a second to remind yourself of how much hotter Taylor keeps getting with age:
